


Fair Play Lies In Ashes

by Ki_ru



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Paintball, Recreational Drug Use, absolutely a Reservoir Dogs reference, mentions of Blitz/Rook and Smoke/Mute, tons of idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 03:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16296995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_ru/pseuds/Ki_ru
Summary: A bunch of operators play paintball against each other.What could go wrong?





	Fair Play Lies In Ashes

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Fair Play Lies in Ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906427) by [T_Tinker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/T_Tinker/pseuds/T_Tinker)



> This was written for a good friend of mine :) I actually let a random number generator decide on how the teams were made up and then wrote the fic based on the outcome! Please enjoy ♥

“The teams of three are assigned, here are your colours”, Ash’s voice rises over the cacophony of exactly fourteen other operators excitedly chatting with each other. They pass it off as a training exercise but really, most of them use the rare occasions on which they venture into nearby woods and shoot each other with paint as a chance to unwind a little, relax in a non-lethal and most of all _fun_ setting. As a result, trying to organise it all is a little like herding cats and despite possessing the necessary experience to professionally deal with rowdy colleagues who refuse to listen, Ash is immensely grateful Caveira let her take a sip of her flask after they’d drawn the teams and is therefore less inclined to use the kid gloves, simply yelling: “ _Shut the fuck up!_ ”

Immediately, almost all chatter dies down except for Mute and Echo who are still animatedly whispering and nudging each other with a thrilled expression. Ash wonders whether a second sip would be too much to ask. “Teams assigned, colours too, yadda yadda. Team blue is the nerds – Mute, Echo and Glaz.” She indicates the aforementioned two and is glad that at least Glaz seems to be listening because his teammates are certainly not. “Team yellow is these losers – Blitz, Rook and Smoke.”

While Rook and Blitz are beaming, Smoke looks decidedly miserable about this twist of fate. The German and the Frenchman have been flirting it up pretty hard recently, so he’ll be stuck between two lovebirds and probably loathe existence itself. However, he fails to earn any sympathy as it’s well-known Rook is a fantastic shot and therefore their chance at winning the team deathmatch rose drastically by his inclusion. Next to Blitz, Bandit chuckles and murmurs: “Team yellow, more like team _piss_.”

“Team white is the troublemakers – Lesion, Bandit and Buck.”

This time, it’s Blitz who laughs and retorts: “Team white, more like team _cum_.”

“I’m gonna jizz all over your face, Kötz”, Bandit replies with a dark look and while Lesion is positively delighted to be on his team, Buck is throwing helpless glances and puppy dog eyes at Ash as if she could somehow still switch teams around. _Sorry_ , she mouths at him just as Lesion ponders out loud whether he should zip his trouser legs back on.

“Team green is the clear winners – Alibi, Sledge and myself.” The three of them make eye contact and simply nod. Alibi especially is a valuable addition to their team as she can even surpass people who excelled in GIGN training, whereas Sledge’s tactical knowledge is just as appreciated. “That leaves team magenta as Caveira, Twitch and Thermite.”

Three pairs of eyebrows shoot up at this revelation. Twitch seems vaguely pained and intimidated, Thermite _entirely_ too joyous, and Caveira is glaring daggers at the other two. “Why are we magenta?”, she wants to know before turning her scowl towards Ash.

“We’re not having this discussion again”, Ash refuses.

“I’m just saying, why don’t you take magenta and we take green if it doesn’t make a difference to you?”

“Yeah, I don’t get why _we_ have to be magenta”, Thermite agrees while nodding so fiercely Ash almost expects his head to pop off.

“Be glad you’re not team brown.”

“But team yellow is that much better?”, Smoke interjects.

“Why can’t we pick our own colours?”, Caveira insists and crosses her arms, earning a few nods.

“You weren’t here yet, but we tried it _once_. At first, everyone wanted black or red, then Bandit switched to the lovely colour of creamy vomit, Thatcher requested teal but only if it was proper teal and not turquoise, aqua or cyan, Montagne wondered whether it was possible to mix colours so he’d shoot the fucking French flag onto someone’s chest, compelling them to stand up straight and holler the _Marseillaise_ , and Pulse wanted to know how he could mix colours so it’d look like realistic blood. _No. Picking. Your own. Colours_. Got it? Can we start now?”

“I have a question.” Bandit raises his hand and waits patiently until Ash has called him by name to continue, despite everyone staring at him. “Can we ban camping? Glaz always does it and it frankly takes away a lot of my enjoyment of -”

“If there is _anyone_ other than Alibi and Sledge still in my peripheral vision in one minute, I’m going to fucking shoot you point blank”, Ash interrupts him sharply and about a second later, everyone is hastily jumping up and scrambling to get to their designated starting area.

 

“Okay, look”, Twitch attempts to calm down her two upset teammates, “I do understand both your positions. Jordan, you are correct, this is a _team_ game and as such, working together is not only required but also the key to success. And Taina, I agree with you that splitting up has its benefits and allows us to cover a larger area, so how about we compromise?” At this point, they’ve all lowered their weapons and are cowering in the thicket, hopefully working through their issues sooner rather than later. “I’m sure we can find a middle ground where both of you -”

“Manu”, Caveira interrupts her, deadpan, “you’re a darling and I love you dearly, but look at what we’re dealing with.” She indicates the broadly grinning Thermite who’s quite obviously having the time of his life. “This fucking gremlin is actively trying to sabotage us.”

“All I’m proposing are sensible callouts so we can always be sure we’re on the same page”, he tries to defend himself yet can hardly keep the amusement out of his voice.

Caveira throws him a withering glance. “You suggested ‘ejaculate and evacuate’ instead of ‘retreat’ which not only is too fucking long and completely obvious, thus wholly _useless_ as a callout, it’s also hare-brained.”

“We can yell ‘the eagle has landed’ when we managed to shoot someone out of a tree”, Thermite cheerfully ignores her comment, clearly intent on riling her up further and succeeding.

“There isn’t going to be someone up a goddamn tree and if there is, I don’t want to shoot them _out of it_ ”, she hisses and Twitch begins massaging her temple.

“Guys, please. I’m not letting you go on your own and I’m not letting _you_ say another word. We’re moving on, we’ve lost so much time already and have no idea where the other teams are – we could be surrounded for all we know.”

“We’re not. I have excellent hearing, there’s no one nearby”, Caveira shakes her head and points in a direction, “I suggest we move that way, there’s a bunker in that direction which is a great base for reassessing the situation. I’ll lead.”

“Last one inside is a rotten egg!”, Thermite spits out predictably and bursts out of the vegetation to make a run for it, only to yelp about two seconds later and curse heartily.

Twitch and Caveira look at each other. “There’s an entire team in that bunker”, the Brazilian announces drily. “Come on. Let’s go.” She grabs Twitch’s wrist and pulls her in the opposite direction, visibly pleased with the amused smile on the Frenchwoman’s face.

 

“I got someone”, Buck announces proudly, scanning the rest of the forest for the two remaining members of Thermite’s team but coming up empty. “You’re right, it actually does pay off to stay in one spot. Jordan was just running at us for some reason, I don’t think he knew we’re here. How is it on your side? Still nothing? I’m worried Cav will loop around and -” He turns his head towards where Lesion _should_ be standing as per their foolproof plan to hold the bunker till the end of the game yet comes up empty. Alarmed, he whirls around and finds his colleagues engrossed in both seemingly entertaining though quiet conversation as well as a cigarette they keep passing back and forth. Disbelievingly, he stares at them for a few seconds before bursting out: “What in the _world_ are you doing?!”

Lesion and Bandit regard him curiously. “Chilling”, Bandit says as if the question was not only unwarranted but also exceedingly stupid.

“You’re supposed to guard the other two sides – that’s what we agreed on, how are we supposed to -”

“Sounds like you need to chill too”, Lesion chimes in with a friendly smile which turns thoughtful after a moment. “You know what, I’m hungry.”

Buck can’t believe it. “ _What_? Now’s not the time to – I don’t know where Cav and Emmanuelle are, they could storm the building any second now and you’re just -”

“They can storm my building anytime”, Bandit cuts in and eyes Lesion interestedly who’s begun patting down the myriad of pockets lining his cargo shorts, only to reveal a pair of sandwiches in a ziploc bag, a packet of assorted nuts, a cooled bottle of water (how? Just – just _how?_ ), a few peaches and some candy. “Oh fuck, gimme some of that good shit.” And the next thing Buck knows is that Bandit is pouring cashews and peanuts into his gullet.

…this is not a normal cigarette, he realises belatedly. “You guys are a liability and absolutely _unbelievable_ ”, he states, appalled at the lack of discipline.

“Can I have one of the sandwiches?”

“Sure.”

“Hell yeah. Do you want to marry me?”

“Alright.”

“Fuck yes. I’ve always wanted a husband with proper, delicious nuts in his pants.”

The two dissolve into giggles and Buck knows, just _knows_ they won’t listen to him, regardless of what he does. There’s only one option left. “I’m so sorry”, he whispers, lifts his gun and shoots them both.

Lesion frowns when he gets hit in the back and turns to him with a pout. “Ow. That hurt.”

“You will forever live on in my heart, friends”, Buck sighs and points towards one of the exits. “Now fuck off. You’re out.”

Bandit grumbles the entire time though doesn’t throw a fit, probably courtesy of being appeased by chewing on a Snickers bar as well as Lesion hooking their arms together and dragging him away. “You can’t throw us off team cum, we _founded_ team cum”, is the last thing with which he addresses Buck before making his way towards the dead zone while holding his arm up to indicate they’re out.

Just to be safe, Buck waits until he can’t see them anymore before he even considers leaving the bunker, which is when he hears Bandit yell: “Ow! Stop! I’m out already! Fucking _ow_! Is this you, Ash? I’ll have your fucking head, you animal!”

And hearing his screams of distress actually soothes something in Buck.

 

Alarmed, Blitz looks over at Smoke who is a few trees off to the side with the meanest cackle the German has ever heard him utter coming out of his mouth. There are exactly three things wrong with the current scenario, and two of them involve the wrong colour of paint, though one of them is less surprising than the other. The first is that both Lesion _and_ Bandit have been spattered with white paint, thus they somehow must’ve royally annoyed Buck, the second is that Smoke is shooting Bandit relentlessly with _green_ paint despite the three of them being team yellow, and the third is that he’s shooting him _at all_.

While the two troublemakers are stumbling off into cover, Blitz dashes over to his teammate and snatches his gun away from him. “Where did you get this paint? This isn’t ours!”

“Oh, I know”, Smoke chortles, “that way he won’t know it’s me.”

“This is entirely unsportsmanlike”, Blitz admonishes him because that’s what he’s supposed to be doing, though he has to admit that hearing Bandit screech in despair was extremely satisfying. “Now come on, Seb can’t be far.” He returns the gun and flits back to his original position, ignoring Smoke’s eye rolling, makes eye contact with Rook and signs for them to move on. He somehow managed to rope Smoke into trying and being tactical about the whole thing and though his German efficiency and curtness visibly annoys him, he’s playing along for the moment – except for the hiccup just now, admittedly. They caught sight of Twitch earlier, took a few pot shots but ultimately lost her and retreated quickly before Caveira could rain down vengeance on them. Apart from her, they haven’t seen _anyone_ for some reason yet it’s impossible for the majority to have gotten shot already.

They continue in this fashion, moving from cover to cover, keeping their heads down and their eyes open, stopping every now and then to listen, only to frown at each other and shake their heads. Admittedly, the area they’re using is vast and can house the entirety of Rainbow, making it less likely to stumble over each other if one or even both parties don’t move much, but even so they usually see more action. It seems like a large part of their opponents are camping or actually out.

Rook is having the time of his life, eagerly watches Blitz’ every move so he can jump at his commands – he enjoys being able to follow orders and even more when the stakes aren’t high, though both of them are decidedly more competitive than Smoke, explaining their dedication to creeping through the forest hopefully unseen while Smoke repeatedly throws rude gestures their way and thus complains about it being too warm, about them moving too fast, about being bored, about his mask fogging up. It’s rare for Blitz to feel this close to Rook. Even without seeing his mouth, he can sense his smiles, picture them under his mask, his lips stretched into -

Something hits the trunk right above Blitz’ head with a wet _splat_ and makes him duck down immediately. The viscous liquid is white – a relief since they only have to worry about one enemy in that case, and Blitz swiftly coordinates an attack, effectively surrounding the Canadian and taking him out with a minimum of shots (yellow, he made sure Smoke had none of the green ones left). They nod at each other and he’s tempted to ask him about the incident with Bandit and Lesion when something explodes into paint right next to Smoke’s boot.

“The fuck?”, he can hear the Englishman mutter before taking off his fogged-up mask and inspecting the damage. The amount of blue is astonishing and can’t be explained unless the nerds somehow managed to build a paintball shotgun over the course of one or maybe two hours. Drawing his brows together, Smoke looks up at the nearest tree with a face expressing incomprehension, which, unfortunately, means his mouth is open. Unfortunately – because the next second, he gets nailed in the face with a water balloon filled with paint.

Helplessly, Blitz watches him spit most of it out, still retching, but it’s not enough as he throws up properly after a moment. It’s neon blue and doesn’t look very appetising and this is when Blitz hears the giggling coming from above. Rook reacts first, flicks his gun up and shoots a few times.

 

“Stop, stop, we’re out”, Mute laughs loud enough for the people on the ground to hear and shakes off some of the yellow paint on his leg, watching an amused Echo do the same with his arm. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, James, I didn’t think you’d -” He almost falls off the branch on which he’s standing and only the Japanese man’s hand on his shoulder stops him from simply dropping several metres to the ground due to laughing so hard. Both of them sit down, chortling, and high five once they’re confident enough about not crashing down any second.

Below them, Smoke is still cursing up a storm in between spitting out the last blue residues while Blitz and Rook join him, clearly concerned for his well-being. “Well”, says Echo, “that worked much better than we thought.”

“We should ask whether anyone got caught by the random ones we just lobbed into the distance”, Mute agrees with him and takes a deep breath. “Oh man. I’m so giddy I don’t think I can climb down.”

“You better fucking not, babe!”, Smoke yells at him while trying to wipe his face clean. “I’ll bloody strangle you, you cheating twat! It’s in my fucking _nose_ , holy shit, ew.”

“That’s a good question, is this even allowed?”, Rook wants to know, beaming up at his friends with obvious interest and Mute is certain this tactic will see more play next time.

“I mean…” The two exchange a glance and Echo shrugs. “It’s not explicitly _forbidden_ , so… I’d say yes.”

“Fucking little _bitch_!”

“Oh, I’ll be fine, the couch isn’t actually that uncomfortable”, Mute murmurs and begins the climb down. “You know, I was wondering whether we’d see any action, we were already started to get bored.”

“Were you watching cat videos the entire time?”, Rook guesses, prompting a nod from both of them, and grins.

“We figured we’d win anyway, so we wanted to give you guys a fair chance”, Echo adds.

“Yeah, you guys suck at this game.” Mute dodges the punch blindly thrown at him, and raises his fist in the air. “You forgot one of most basic _details_.” And the moment he speaks the last word, realisation shows on Blitz’ face, just as Mute brings his hand down again in a decisive slice, and it’s not enough time – two shots hit in quick succession, neatly right over Blitz’ and Rook’s hearts and cover them in bright blue. Blitz curses under his breath. “Teams have three members”, Mute clarifies in a smug tone of voice and darts away, cackling, when Smoke begins chasing him.

Echo, ignoring the overexcited noises the two SAS operators are emitting, raises a thumb in the air while looking around in no direction in particular. “I don’t want you guys to know where Glaz is”, he explains.

“Did he make a makeshift ghillie suit again and you actually have no clue where he really is?”, Rook asks with an arched eyebrow.

“… yeah”, says Echo.

 

Never before has Alibi missed her gadget more than in this moment. She’s quickly become fond of the Prismas and highly enjoys tricking enemies with it, cleverly using them as distraction, to induce fear and confusion and to aid her in hunting down those who dare oppose her. In this case, there’s only one person she has to take down and she’s wily – Caveira is a fast runner, agile and well-versed in simply disappearing from sight, no matter how hard Alibi tries to track her down.

This game is a welcome change to the mind-numbing physical training they usually do and she’s glad she didn’t miss it, especially since it allowed her to form a closer bond with both Ash and Sledge, both of whom excel in different disciplines. It was Sledge’s coordination and Ash’s alertness which got them this far seeing as Alibi is a fantastic shot yet largely unfamiliar with this weapon as well as fighting in terrain this obscured. They ended up in a firefight with the magenta team, circling each other and coming close to wiping each other out several times yet never sealing the deal – Alibi traded both her teammates for Twitch, so Caveira and she are the only ones left now and both of them have been unable to finish the game so far.

They’re close to the dead zone and thus have gained spectators watching them not actually doing much for a while. She can tell Caveira is trying to get close to her, so she withdraws as necessary even if it means showing her opponent her back, but so far there have been close calls and nothing more.

“How about we settle this like adults?”, she eventually calls out to her predator and can basically sense the hesitation.

“What does that mean?”

“We’re obviously not getting anywhere with this, so how about a duel? On the count of three, we jump out. The faster and more accurate shot wins.”

“How about we play hide and seek instead?”, Caveira teases her to let her know she’s well aware of Alibi’s marksmanship skills. “You think I’m going to go for that?”

“Look. We’re going to reach the time limit like this and then we both lose. Do you want that?”

Silence. Frantic, Alibi scans her surroundings for any indication the other woman is using this opportunity to sneak up on her, but it seems she didn’t give her enough credit: “Alright. On three. And if you don’t honour it, you’re fucking _dead_.”

“Deal!” Alibi catches Buck’s eye who happens to stand in her line of sight and motions for him to count so she can focus instead. She feels every number in her fingertips, grips the gun more tightly and swiftly leaves her cover on three, as agreed. It takes her a second to spot Caveira a short distance away, the other woman locking eyes with her for a second and then they both shoot.

They both hit. And stare at each other.

Total silence. It was simultaneous.

Frowning, they turn to their audience which seems as stunned as they are. “Shit”, Caveira hisses and throws her gun down, “who fucking won? Did anyone see it?”

“I think you hit each other at the same time”, Rook speaks up, his cheeks still red from when Sledge accused him of having disrupted the play area by snogging Blitz in it when they were both out already – the hot pink spatters on his backside speak a loud story of being mistaken for an enemy still in the game, as far as Alibi can tell.

“That’s impossible!”

“So we both win?”, Alibi wants to know from Ash who looks just as clueless as everyone else does.

“I suppose so.”

“Oh please _no_ ”, Caveira whines and points accusingly at Thermite whose face lit up instantly at Alibi’s words, “you can’t let _him_ win. Please. Everything but that. I’d rather accept mutual defeat than have him win!”

And just when Ash is about to open her mouth, a bush walks onto the clearing, holding a gun and somehow looking sad. “Hey, are you done already?”, it asks with Glaz’ voice and raises its arms to push away most of the leaves, grass and twigs to reveal that it is, in fact, Glaz himself. “Sorry if I kept you, I bet no one could find me.”

“Where the hell did you come from?”, Ash demands to know, flabbergasted.

“I… got lost, to be honest. And then I was tired, so I slept a bit. Who won?”

Caveira and Alibi exchange a glance. “You did”, Alibi answers. “You’ve not been hit at all, right?”

“No, I haven’t. Wait, what do mean I won? Are you serious?”

“No, no, wait, absolutely not”, Ash cuts in, shaking her head decisively, “I have evidence the nerds rigged the supposedly _random_ drawing of teams so they’d end up together. We can’t let a stacked team win.”

“What?!” Mute is outraged. “Come on, we were out so early though! And Glaz only won because he’s invisible, that’s not fair, we normally wouldn’t have had a chance, this is hardly -”

“Besides, that raises the question again of who shot first”, Alibi feels obliged to add.

And suddenly, everyone has something to add to the topic, calling for Glaz’ blue team to be disqualified, favouring either Caveira or Alibi or demanding for the last person to be eliminated before their teams to win – however, since it’d be the nerds again, they’d have to go a step further back, making it team yellow and Smoke with parts of his face and hair still as blue as the cookie monster doesn’t really seem like someone who’d appreciate being handed an undeserved win.

Once again, it’s Ash’s loud voice cutting through the heated debate: “ _Quiet_!! Who the hell cares who won, let’s go have a drink.”

This, finally, manages to appease _everyone_. The atmosphere flips completely from one second to the next and the usual drinking buddies flock together, making Caveira appear by Ash’s side. “If you want, I can organise it next time”, she offers generously. “We’d have names like team slate, team taupe, team asphalt, team platinum and of course – team ash.”

“I swear, you all will send me to an early grave”, Ash sighs and expectantly holds out a hand for Caveira’s flask.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit [my tumblr](http://kiruuuuu.tumblr.com/) if you'd like to say hi ❤ I'm much more active there :)


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